Elizabeth Do
Before committing to STSM, I struggled to find depth in my love relationship with God and have faith that his plans for my life are truly greater than my own. I initially viewed missions and serving God as a selfless sacrifice of my time, career opportunities, and money. But God slowly humbled and softened my heart, reminding me that any opportunity to partake in his Kingdom work is a privilege and honor. My decision to entrust this summer to the Lord was an act of faith, obedience, and a hunger to see and experience more of Him. Reflecting on the months of training and my time in Nicaragua, I can confidently say that I’ve gained a deeper love for God and His people, as well as a renewed commitment to live abundantly and purposefully for Him.
One of the major struggles I wrestled with was choosing to die to my flesh on a daily basis. A few weeks before departing, I experienced a sudden outburst of aggressive skin issues. As silly and insignificant as it may seem, it was shocking how much of an impact my skin had on my overall self image and confidence, diminishing my desire to go for fear of exposure and vulnerability. Throughout the training process, I would catch myself being overly concerned with my discomfort and insecurities, rather than being joyfully present and focused. But God so graciously reminded me of the unconditional love and worth I have in him, giving me renewed confidence each day. I immediately experienced an overwhelming love and joy from the precious children during VBS ministry, as they embraced me as I was. As we hugged, played, sang, and danced to the fullest, the exhaustion, sweat, and discomfort of the day would simply melt away. I even remember one little girl, Ashley, asking about my skin but reassuring me with a warm smile that I am beautiful no matter what. In that moment, I was reminded to think less of myself and fix my eyes on the beautiful work and love that God was revealing to me in Nicaragua. To die to my flesh and learn to find the fullness of joy in the Lord.
Another initial struggle was battling my self-inflicted isolation and loneliness. God revealed and taught me a lot about myself during the trip - especially my weakness of carrying burdens alone and putting up walls. But through this weakness, he revealed the restorative power of vulnerability and finding support in the community he’s provided. As God slowly broke down my walls and pride, he beckoned me to experience the fruit of intentional relationships with my teammates as we shared struggles, blessings, lessons, and encouragement as brothers and sisters in Christ. I was also blessed to experience true Christ-centered fellowship through my homestay family, the Mercados. After just minutes of meeting us, the Mercados welcomed us into their homes with open arms and hearts, embodying Godly hospitality as they generously invited us to share a piece of their lives. The family consisted of a couple who faithfully led praise at church, and their three daughters: Gabi, Bella, and Cami. As we shared meals, played games, and engaged in conversation, I could feel the love of Christ that this family exuded that transcended all perceived cultural differences. I’ll never forget the time we went to the beach for sunset and the youngest daughter, Cami, wrote in big fat letters, “LIZ I LOVE YOU”, in the sand with hearts around it. She smiled, hugged me, and handed me some special seashells that she collected. I remember thinking to myself, “This right here - this is the limitless and universal love of God”. I left the loving Mercado home with a full heart, teary eyes, and a deep assurance that I will see them again someday - whether on Earth or in heaven. God had redeemed my weakness and isolation by providing me with relationships that ultimately pointed to the cross, painting a picture of the love and grace we have in the Lord.
Finally, I initially went into missions lacking confidence in my prayers and feeling inadequate for the role God has called me to in prayer ministry next year. But God graciously gifted me multiple opportunities to grow in prayer - by praying for the kids during VBS, families during medical missions, the Mercado family, my teammates, and even finding rest and intimacy with God through personal prayer. He also spoke to me through my leader, Anna, and several teammates, who lovingly challenged and encouraged me to use my voice to speak truth and be a blessing to others. With each prayer lifted up to God, I began to understand that the greatest act of love I could offer was to intercede in prayer for the lost, and entrust that Christ alone has the power to change their hearts and transform their lives. As my conviction in the power of prayer grew, so did my heart for the future prayer ministry and my confidence in the Lord. I realized that God had been using everything in my life - every struggle, every trial, every victory, every transition - to shape and mold me to be used in this moment in Nicaragua. And just as he’s done before, God was using my experiences in Nicaragua to prepare me for his future plans to come.
Looking back on God’s faithfulness and goodness throughout this STSM process, I am simply filled with awe and gratitude to have been able to experience a taste of the work he is doing in the nations. As God redeemed each of my struggles into blessings and lessons, He has given me perspective to see the truth of the gospel and the transformative power of his love. He has opened my heart to the sweet goodness of his character, thus deepening my love for Him, Nicaragua, and the beautiful people we encountered. He has filled me with a rejuvenated gratitude, a deeper longing to know him more, and an eager excitement to see how I can be used to further his kingdom. I realize now that my STSM experience was not the end goal, but the stepping stone to equip and prepare me for the next adventure that God has in store. A reality check to remind me that a purposeful and abundant life is one where I choose to abide in the Lord daily, entrust in His greater plans, and faithfully obey His calling. With that, I now hope to bring back with me a broken heart for the lost, a boldness and confidence to live out my faith, and a deepened love for God and His precious people. Thank you Jesus for your love, your goodness, your faithfulness. ¡Gloria a Dios!
“Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.” Habakkuk 1:5
