JOSEPH YOUN

When thinking about going on short-term summer missions (STSM) this year, I thought about what a successful life would entail. Is it good status? A good job? Making lots of money? A verse highlighted to me was Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness…” A successful life seeks to glorify God in all things, and one of the ways of glorifying God is by going on missions, which is why I decided to go on STSM this year.

One of the lessons highlighted to me during my time in Ecuador was to seek God. Before going on STSM, I had a personal prayer request to seek God humbly and desperately daily based on Psalm 105:4, “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!” Coming to Ecuador and seeing how much free time we had, I saw God answer my prayer through spending time with Him through the Bible, prayer, praise, and even just doing nothing. God also answered my prayer request through my sickness. Around the second week in Ecuador, about half of our team fell into sickness from food poisoning and/or altitude sickness. I got food poisoning, and I missed a full week of ministry and a few more days from it reemerging. As I was resting at our hostel, many thoughts and feelings raced through my head, and thankfully, I came before God with it all. “God, I don’t want to go through this anymore,” I cried. I experienced much pain and frustration, but through it all, I found myself crying out and seeking God because He was the only One I could truly rely upon. During this time, I was reminded of many things. As I prayed to God, He reminded me that even in the moments I didn’t feel His presence in the midst of my physical suffering, He is near.

Another was through reading the book Gentle and Lowly. As I got better, I began to spend some time reading, and through this book, I was reminded that Jesus’ innermost heart disposition towards sinners and sufferers is love, kindness, compassion, and pity. Reading this touched my heart and resulted in much gratitude to Jesus, knowing that we have a God who cares so deeply for us and is accessible to all. So, as I got better and came back to join the team for ministry, I found myself seeking to fix my eyes on God, which resulted in joyful worship.

Another lesson highlighted to me was to rest in His presence. During my time of sickness, another thought that crossed my mind was the desire to go back to ministry work. It would be through the book of Galatians and Gentle and Lowly that God graciously revealed the legalistic spirit I had. The book of Galatians is a letter written by Paul to the Galatians who had deserted the true Gospel for another gospel of works, in which Paul emphasized that we are justified by faith alone in Christ, being adopted as sons and daughters of God through Him. Gentle and Lowly does a quick overview of the book of Galatians, and it mentions how the church began to operate out of a legalistic spirit, or the idea that you are justified by works. Through these two books, God revealed to me how I was preeminently seeking to do work rather than seeking to rest in God’s presence. I felt God graciously speak to me, saying, “I love you. I died for you. Rest in my presence.” So, as I got better and got back into the routine of things, I prioritized resting in God’s presence because “in [His] presence there is fullness of joy; at [His] right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11). 

As I’m back home, I plan to apply what I’ve learned by creating intentional time and space devoted to seeking the Lord through the Bible, prayer, and praise. And through those times of seeking the Lord, to rest in His presence and be filled with His love so that it may result in God’s revelation of Himself to me, praise and glory to Him, and faithful obedience to whatever He commands and calls me to. Even with these plans in mind, I know I will struggle with sin in the mundane moments of life and being at home. However, I can hope in and yield to the power of the Holy Spirit that as I deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him He will sanctify me, purify me, and lead me.