VICTORIA YU

I signed up for STSM this summer because I thought about why I shouldn’t go— and couldn’t come up with anything. I was a senior in college with no concrete plan for the summer, only had two classes to take for spring quarter, and most importantly, I understood that every Christian is “called” to spread the Gospel. Logistically and spiritually, everything aligned. There was also an internal desire within me to continue having fun with my friends from KCM into the summer, even after I graduate college. So not only did I have the time and heart to go, I also wanted to continue being socially active until I had to move back in with my parents. Moving back home meant leaving sunny, southern California and back to lonely, boring Texas. STSM was the perfect opportunity for me to push back the thought of dealing with post-grad life, even if it was just for a little bit. 

Throughout Sunday training, prep week, and intensive retreat, I felt so much build up and anticipation for the mission trip to Ecuador. I unconsciously looked forward to experiencing God in a very vivid, emotional way in Ecuador that was different from how He would speak to me here. However, this notion I had was proven to be very wrong during my time on the mission field. 

The ministry we did in Ecuador was, to be very frank, repetitive and mundane. Every day we only did VBS ministry for three hours in the morning. The rest of the day consisted of eating lunch, preparing for the next day of VBS, having dinner, and team time at night. This meant a lot of free-time was given to us. And I had nothing else to do but sleep, read Christian books, read the Bible, or jam out to praise songs with other teammates who were also trying to kill time. But out of the blue, the team was suddenly hit with a mysterious stomach flu-like sickness. I was bed-ridden for a day and had to use the restroom incessantly for the next five days. This was perhaps the most dramatic incident of the trip, but all it did was allow me even more time to read the Bible and pray. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed that all the preparation we did and expectations I built up weren’t being met. I also felt like I wasn’t serving the people in Ecuador enough or doing as much as I could for God’s kingdom. 

In a way, I had signed up for STSM to run away from the boredom and mundane parts of post-grad life. Instead, I found myself living out that very humdrum, monotonous rhythm in Ecuador that I worked so hard to flee from. I was hoping for a burning bush encounter with God, but received too much time for anti-climatic Bible studies in solitude. It wasn’t until we came back from the mission trip where it clicked for me. 

Through a devotional I was doing on Luke 2, God revealed to me just how precious my time in Ecuador was. Luke 2 describes the story of young Jesus and how his family accidentally left without him after the Feast of the Passover ended. It took Jesus’ parents three days to find him and they finally discovered him at the temple listening and speaking with the teachers there. When Mary asked Jesus why he didn’t follow them home, he responded in a very interesting way. “And he said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’ ” (Luke 2:49). When I read Luke 2:49, in that second, I felt like God was asking me, “why were you looking for me in Ecuador?” I was gently rebuked and reminded that God is near to me, no matter where I go. Jesus dwells in the Father’s house, which isn’t a physical location on the map but wherever God's presence is evident. And God was showing me that I enter into His presence every time I pray and worship Him. It doesn’t really matter where I go or how much work I do for His kingdom. God first and foremost desires me to be with Him. 

All that time I had in Ecuador to sit in God’s presence was not wasted at all. It was so peaceful spending time reading His word and abiding in His love daily through prayer. I was able to be still and experience the joy that comes from being in fellowship with God. I would’ve never been able to experience a time where I can fully concentrate on God without the distractions I face in my everyday life in America. And as I move forward in my daily life, Jesus continues to invite me to the Father’s house. It is there where I can always find God’s presence no matter where I am.