SKYLAR LEE

At the beginning of this year, I prayed to be “crushed and pressed” since I wanted my character to develop. God did not fail to show me my weakness and I’m pleased to say that I have been stretched this year. He covered me with His mercy, gave me hope and purpose, and showed me the depths of His love for me and His people.

Praying and trying to understand what God wanted me to do this year was very challenging, especially for missions, since it had already been a hope of mine for a while to go on missions to India. So it was very special to me seeing how God allowed me to go this year and I was so excited. In the US, I saw that Christianity was unfamiliar among the Indian communities I was around. So I figured in India, given their culture and living conditions, the people must have so much potential to receive the gospel with joy and hope. That was my heart for India.

God revealed a new perspective to me. Since this was my first missions trip and my first time in a developing country, I was humbled to see the difference in their lifestyle. I was told, “If you experience India, you experience the world,” and I had no idea what I was in for. Having witnessed openly practiced rituals and pagan celebrations, imagery of many gods, and temples of various religions, I was shocked at the devotion and religiosity in Indian culture in contrast to America’s growing indifference to religion. Seeing how differently Indian people grew up from me and how they worshipped other gods, I began to view them as completely unlike me: lost and desolate. I remember walking around one day in the streets of Varanasi amidst the heat and pollution, ready to snap at anyone who dared to touch or talk to me since I was in a bad mood. At the moment, I was apathetic to the people and couldn’t come to terms with our different lifestyles. But then as I prayed, my heart began to say “Who am I?” as God revealed to me that I also was wretched and detestable in my sin by the standard of perfection of our holy God. He showed me that I’m really not so different from these people and that it was sinful and ironic to think I was so different from these people. I was so humbled to realize that we actually deeply relate in that at some point we both had something other than Jesus on the throne of our hearts, which makes us both undeserving of God. Just because I didn’t worship statues doesn’t mean my heart never worshipped anyone else. Yet, in His great mercy and loving-kindness, He opened my eyes, touched my heart, and saved me. So shouldn’t everyone get to know my Savior? 

I was challenged and stretched as I realized that much of America’s individualistic culture encourages self-centered thinking and comfort. Every day in India, I prayed that the day wouldn’t be about me, but about God. Deep down I knew I was there to serve and partake in advancing God’s kingdom through my obedience. But at the surface of my mind, sometimes all I would think about was how uncomfortable I was, physically or mentally. Then one day, the Lord moved my heart through 1 Timothy 1:12-14 as Apostle Paul wrote, “I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus.” That is when I once again felt God’s overwhelming grace in bringing me to India and using me. I remembered that the purpose of the trip and my service were not about me, but for God’s glory. I remembered the complete brokenness once I lived in, and how it was like what I saw in India. But then I would remember how God touched my heart and changed my life with His abundant love and mercy. I remembered that no one is ever “too far gone” to be changed by the Lord. Every time hopelessness crept into my heart, His Spirit reminded me that He is not done working. When I remembered these things, every single moment of suffering and uncertainty suddenly became so small. Although many of these experiences of suffering or discomfort were unfamiliar, frustrating, and exhausting, they could not compare to the honor and joy I had to be serving my God. 

Now I have a stronger sense of purpose as I serve and make choices and sacrifices. I look towards the future with an unexplainable peace and assurance I have in Christ alone. I am grateful for the Lord’s provision, unending love and care, and abounding mercy. The Lord’s mercy is upon India’s people and it has been an honor to have witnessed how He is touching hearts and revealing Himself in the precious country of India.