Junior | UCSB

Like many of the other STSM trainees, I was born into the church and grew up knowing who God was. The struggle that follows with this blessing is a lifetime of fighting against sin and complacency in the faith. Knowing this struggle as I was growing up, I became more passionate about growing in my faith in college. After spending about a year and a half of college online, I became more involved with KCM, in person, and found a great community there. I soon felt a call to go on missions with KCM this past summer. It wasn’t necessarily a voice in my head, but I had all the time and support so with God’s grace, I decided to embrace the opportunity in front of me. With no other mission experience, I had very few expectations going into Nicaragua and how a typical mission trip should look like. I had heard some stories from past STSM goers about Nicaragua, but it didn’t prepare me for what was coming. 

The two types of ministry that we primarily focused on in Nicaragua were VBS and relational ministry. In the last week, our team was split into six groups to go sleep at different church leader’s houses for two nights and three days, as a part of relational ministry. I wasn’t as familiar with relational ministry as I was with VBS. I had helped with VBS at churches multiple times in the past, but I had never been a part of organized relational ministry. The house that Faith, my teammate, and I were put into was a family of five. The parents were both church leaders with the father playing electric guitar and the mother singing for every Sunday service. They also had three daughters: a 16 year old, 10 year old, and 8 year old. 

I was initially pretty nervous about leaving my team and being in a house with strangers, but when Faith and I arrived at their house, I was immediately comforted by the sound of English that came out from the two oldest daughters’ mouths and the warm smiles from the parents. The kids were so amazingly sweet as they showered us with their love and hugs right from the start. They always wanted to dance and sing and draw, all at the same time. The eldest daughter would even dance around with us despite being much older than her younger sisters. Later that first night, the parents shared about how much they valued the church, the missionaries that run the church, and how grateful they were that they had the opportunity to serve on the praise team. The dad also shared how he really respected the Korean culture of working hard, and how he felt that he had picked up on some of that culture through the missionaries. Then, the parents began to share how they were worried for their eldest daughter because she was entering college next year. They feared that she wouldn’t follow the right path and would walk away from the faith because her friends were mostly non-Christians. The mom had also shared that she wasn’t the best role model for her daughter because she had first become pregnant at 16 with the dad being 10 years older than her. She was grateful that he was a good man and started a family with her, but she shared that most men in Nicaragua are not like that and leave many women to deal with things on their own. 

Hearing all of these things, I was unsure of how I could help her daughters in the few days that I would be with them. I doubted that I could really make a difference because I felt like I wasn’t a good role model either. I also doubted that the girls would even listen to what I had to say or would even remember us in a couple months. At the end of our stay, the mom gave us a hug and said, “Thank you so much. Truly.” I could really feel her sincerity and as she spoke, I felt a realization coming over me. It was not “I” doing the work but Him. God never had any doubt that He would be able to use those few days to do His work. God is always working and even by just being in their home, God was using me to fulfill His plan. As I reflected on every conversation, I was realizing how much I grew to love those kids and how I was showing them God’s love with each interaction. 

Even in the simplest of things like praying before we eat and reading the Bible in the morning, God was using Faith and I as role models for their three girls. They were able to see our love for God and that was enough to plant a seed in their hearts. The only thing that I could do now was pray and wait for God to keep those daughters grounded in the faith. Coming back home, I’m still trying to process and reflect on the entire experience, but I pray that I continue to have a mindset centered on God, where I see Him in all moments rather than myself.