This year I wanted to take every opportunity to serve wherever God placed me – at church or in KCM or elsewhere, and STSM was one of those opportunities. I was drawn to it because this would be my last opportunity to spend this much time focused on sharing the Gospel with the college community that had shaped me before I moved into postgrad. Looking back, my reasons for deciding to go were more influenced by the people going than for God's call, but the Lord used even that selfish motive to show His Presence in India and challenge me to turn to Him in prayer. 

During our first two weeks of ministry while we were at St. Paul School (a Christian school run by Missionary James in Jalpaiguri), I became sensitive to how often I was wrapped up in myself and worries like “what can I do to make them like me (more)?” and “did I do something to make them behave a certain way?” crowded my head. I knew these thoughts distracted me from Jesus, but instead of bringing them to God, my first instinct was to hide them and try to fix things myself. 

Thankfully, God used our 5:30 daily morning prayers to reshape my response. In the many moments I would be at a loss for words, I sat before Him and confessed that I was losing against my flesh and didn’t know what to do. The answer He led me to was very familiar, but this month it etched itself into my heart with a simple but profound weight: lay everything before Him as it was and trust that He will do the rest. The IEC staff (locals who do ministry with MJ at St. Paul) modeled this surrender wonderfully. Each time we prayed together, they lifted up the day’s activities, the school, and even their nation to God because they recognized that they were not the Potter but vessels that desire to be useful for Him. There was such a joyful heart posture and it was the same in all the believers I met, not just at St. Paul. Every time they would acknowledge that their salvation or something else was only possible because of God, that on their own it couldn’t have happened, I was reminded that victory and life come through Christ alone. Living beside such humble men and women deepened my understanding of a life surrendered to God and grew my hunger to witness the same powerful answers they could testify to.

I admired these brothers and sisters not only for their humility in prayer, but also for their complete dedication to Jesus despite their circumstances. While faith in the States can sometimes be taken for granted, for the church of India, faith is their lifeline. Even when they are rejected and persecuted for following Christ, they don’t cut their faith down, they commit their lives to proclaiming the name of Jesus. In Jaigaon our team spent our time at an orphanage called Grace Ashram run by the Mathews, a family of generational missionaries. We got to hear their testimonies of how they each left their dreams of success and stability behind when God called and how He rewarded them for their obedience. Though running an orphanage in India holds risks to the extent of government intervention, they continue serving for God because they truly believe He is worthy of nothing less than their lives. 

I knew God has been using devoted missionaries like these men and women to reach the lost, but I still came into India wondering how God was moving in a nation with so few Christians. I expected our ministry to mostly be VBS with non-believing children, but I was greeted instead by a youthful and spiritually devout church. Christian teenagers routinely defy their families to join discipleship and to be baptized. They pray for their parents to come to know Christ so that they can worship together. Young adults from neighboring churches the Mathews had planted came to Grace Ashram for a youth leader camp and held a passion for Christ beyond their years. Some of the girls I talked with were younger than me, but shared that their hope for this camp was to learn from us to be well equipped to return to their villages where so few people know Christ and share the Gospel. Even knowing they could be rejected and outcast for their faith, their love for the Lord shines so brightly. They have tasted and seen that He is good and know their primary purpose is to worship Him with their whole being (Romans 12:1)!

I’m so thankful I was able to run alongside such faithful and obedient servants and witness how God personally encounters each of His children. He never fails to establish Himself in our hearts as both loving Father and holy King. God has made His plans known to establish Himself as Ruler over all creation and India is no exception. I now share this faith with my brothers and sisters that God hears the prayers of His people in India and will claim this nation for His own in His time and way. As I return to the States I pray that God will strengthen me to lift prayers of surrender throughout my life so that I would live to worship Him alone. I hope I will continue to fight hand in hand with believers across the world for the lost to know Jesus, trusting that though we can’t do it on our own, in the hands of the great King we can be His reliable instruments.