Freshman | UCSB

When I first came to college and heard that KCM was a Christian club with an emphasis on sending collegiates on overseas missions I wanted nothing to do with it. I came up with all kinds of excuses and doubts. But through a variety of people and circumstances, God in his sovereignty not only answered every doubt I had but also helped prepare me to go on STSM. I said “It’s too difficult,” he answered, “The things that are worthwhile in life are difficult.” I said, “There are people better qualified than me”, and he answered, “The Lord does not call those who seem qualified, but rather qualifies the called.” I asked, “What if I fail?” and he answered, “In the moments of weakness, trust in the Holy Spirit to give strength.” On top of all this, during my first year in college, I learned that there is no greater joy in the world than the joy found in Christ. And if Christ was the greatest source of joy, I thought then that I should use every opportunity I had to grow in that joy. I realized that I had one great chance to do exactly that through STSM.

I arrived in India with 14 fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and we served together for about three weeks. At that time, there was not a day or place that was put to waste. In his goodness, God taught me so many different lessons. In particular, there were two that have radically challenged how I viewed my walk of faith. 

The first lesson was that I am not remarkable. In my team, I was given the job of organizing crafts for VBS. If the children were going to color a rainbow or make a lion mask, it was my job to prepare all the things for VBS. Another part of my job was to explain the Gospel through every craft. This was difficult for me. I was my worst critic, always nitpicking at what I did or did not say, and constantly worried that what I said would have no impact on the kids. I was essentially telling myself that I was the talented smart guy who was going to save all of them. But the more pressure I put on myself, the more I realized how imperfect I am. And so I had to come before God, and just admit “God, I fail in every way. I am weak.” And to my surprise, I was at peace when I confessed my weakness. But why?

This is where the second lesson comes into play: God is incredibly remarkable. In my weakness, God brought my attention to 1 Corinthians 3:6-7, “6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” Once I stopped trusting in myself, a human who cannot convince anyone of anything well, I could now trust in God who is powerful enough to change the heart of someone from unbelief to belief.  By admitting how weak and powerless I am, I was giving the spotlight to God so that He could do what He always does–making the seed of the Gospel grow in the hearts of unbelievers.

In the end, did the children all magically become Christian overnight? No. But that’s okay, because although the hearts of the people I ministered to did not instantly change, something just as important did change: my attitude.

We are called to live by faith and not by sight, meaning I no longer had to look to trust my own abilities to believe that something was happening in India. I no longer needed instant results that I could see to believe that I had done something. If I truly believe in the invisible almighty God, I could trust His word that He is working and moving and will make all things beautiful in their time, whether I can see it or not–For this is not only what I do, but what any and every person who wants to spread the Gospel must do. And in India, I met so many believers whom God used in incredible ways because they trusted in Him. And so though I may not be able to see the fruits of the labor I did, I will rest easy and trust God that He will do what he does in His perfect timing.   

Now that I am back in America, I plan to continue confessing my weaknesses and trusting God to use whatever I have to further His Kingdom. For a month, God showed me what it meant to live and serve while being completely reliant on his strength and He is now calling me to do the exact same thing back home. For so long I have treated church as a second home that I can be complacent in, as merely a consumer. Church is the place for me to use my gifts for the Kingdom of God, so for the time I have left this summer and when I go back to college, I want to give to God’s people through church—doing accountability and having faith-led conversations. 

I am deeply grateful for your financial support, which made this mission trip possible, and for your constant prayers that sustained me throughout my time in India. If you have any questions or would like to hear more about my experiences in India, please feel free to ask. I would be more than happy to share with you. Thank you!