Lauren Lee
Earlier this year, I read a book by Francis Chan, and there was one quote in particular that stuck out to me, and became the reason I decided to go on STSM this year: “Lukewarm people call ‘radical’ what Jesus expected of all of his followers.” I quickly realized that going on missions this summer was nothing outlandish or crazy, but rather, an opportunity that I should be eager to take because there is no limit to what I should desire to do when it comes to His kingdom. As we started ministry in Nicaragua, I quickly realized that God brought me there to teach me more about myself, and more importantly, to reveal more of His character to me.
One of the biggest things God taught me was how to slow down and enjoy his presence. During the first week, I read this book called “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry,” which became the theme for me for the entire month in Nicaragua. I realized that I am someone who is constantly in a hurry, and when it came to missions, there were many moments during ministry where I felt myself wanting to be as efficient as possible, getting the crafts done in a quick, orderly manner, or getting through our entire planned schedule with no detours. But in the midst of the chaos of VBS and crafts and English time, I kept hearing a voice telling me to “slow down.”
There was a particular moment when I found myself hurrying to finish the cross bead necklaces as fast as I could, because there was a long line of kids waiting for me to help them make theirs. At a certain point, I even stopped talking to the kids or asking for their names, because I was so focused on getting all of them done. But in the midst of the frenzy, I heard God’s voice tell me to slow down, and I had to let go of my desire to get the task done and just listen to Him. For the next girl in line, I took the time to actually talk to her, ask her intentional questions, and explain the purpose of the cross necklace craft. As I was tying the cross on her, I closed my eyes and prayed over her, and for the first time on the trip, I felt my heart truly break for these children. When I opened my eyes, she innocently asked me why I was crying, and I was able to tell her in my broken Spanish that it was because God loves her so, so much. As I spoke to her, she started crying with me, and told me that her life is so difficult and she often feels alone. I told her that when she cries, she can look at the cross and remember that God is always with her. It was such a beautiful reminder to me that just by slowing down and not just focusing on the task at hand, God is so present and ready to make Himself known.
Another instance where I felt God telling me to slow down was during village evangelism. When I first found out what we were doing, which was going to the houses around the church to pray for the families, I took it as an opportunity to get around to as many houses as possible in the short time we were given, and thought that the more houses we get to, the better. My plan was quickly thwarted as I went around the village with Missionary Kim. Rather than trying to be as efficient and quick as possible, she took the time to introduce each family to us, talk to them and ask about their lives and struggles, and translate their prayer requests to us so that we could put our hands on them and pray over their families. We only got around to a handful of houses, but through watching her form relationships with these people, I was able to see the blessings and fruit that come from just slowing down, tarrying, and making yourself available to God’s presence.
Through slowing down, I learned what it meant to find true rest in my soul. This rest is not dependent on my schedule, my environment, or even the amount of quiet time or solitude I get, but this rest goes far deeper and is always available to me because God is the one providing it. Even through lack of sleep, packed schedules, minimal alone time, etc, my soul felt at ease the more I relied on God for rest. And because of this, I was able to enjoy his presence more, and in turn, that joy translated to love and care for the kids, the team, and the country of Nicaragua. Now that I’m back home and inundated with the normal business and distractions of daily life, I will continue to eliminate the rush and hurry, and rely on God as my ultimate source of rest.
