Sarah Lee
I went into STSM without any particular expectations. I first had the heart to go because I wanted to be used by God to bring more people to know and experience His love as well as learn to live for God’s will even if it is out of my own convenience.
From previous friends who have gone on STSM, I had heard that you leave this experience with the deepest and closest friendships through the team. This was about the only expectation I had going into this trip. However, as time went on, I realized that my desire to form strong bonds with everyone was somewhat self-centered. Being someone who takes time to open up, it was a challenge for me to feel a deep connection with the entire team and I found myself focusing on the team’s closeness rather than doing God’s work.
Upon releasing this self-centered longing to be exceptionally close with all team members, I began to witness the incredible work of God unfolding in Nicaragua. Before my trip to Nicaragua, I dealt with a significant back injury that happened during intensive retreat. While we were practicing VBS dances, I injured my back leaving me incapable of walking properly or standing up straight. This was particularly challenging as I was one of the dance coordinators on our team. I felt very ineffective and burdensome to the team and ultimately had to leave the retreat early to seek treatment and rest before the upcoming trip.
Fortunately, I recovered sufficiently to join the mission in Nicaragua, despite still experiencing physical discomfort and pain at times. Amidst the struggles with my back, I sensed God rebuking me to reflect on the attitude of my heart during our dance practices. Accustomed to striving for perfection in dance performances, I had inadvertently placed more emphasis on the external appearance and flawless execution of our acts rather than on genuine worship and praise to God. Through my inactive participation due to my back injury, I gained clarity on the misplaced focus of my motivations.
Through my physical injury, I also came to understand the true meaning of sharing each other's burdens. As someone who found it challenging to ask for help and receive it, I was humbled by the unwavering support extended by my teammates, creating a safe environment for me to open up to them about my struggles.
Furthermore, throughout the mission, a recurring theme emerged – finding peace and embracing a slower pace. Reflecting on my daily routines and learning to slow down, I discovered the importance of maintaining a steady rhythm in life to better tune in to God's voice. During our last week of ministry we were split off into groups and given the opportunity to live with a few of the Church leaders for three days. Staying with the family I was designated to gave me a glimpse into the unhurried pace of life in Nicaragua, highlighting the significance of cultivating a similar pace in my own life to deepen my spiritual connection.
Moreover, God's power portrayed itself in unexpected ways during our VBS ministry. Initially questioning the children's understanding of the gospel and the purpose behind our activities, I was amazed when a young girl, while crafting a cross necklace, shared profound insights about Jesus' sacrifice and its significance. Witnessing her childlike faith and hearing her sincere words of faithfulness left me deeply moved and blessed.
Throughout this trip, I felt that God was revealing important truths about myself and creating a space for me to truly hear His voice. The practices and disciplines I learned here have been incredibly enriching, and I hope to carry them into my everyday life. By embracing the peace and pace that God has shown me, I aim to deepen my personal connection with Him as I continue to lift up the people of Nicaragua in my prayers, no matter the distance or separation between us. It's my commitment to seek God's word daily, regardless of my convenience, and to continue spreading His love to everyone around me.
