EVELYN KIM

I chose to go on STSM this year because over the past year, God had been growing my heart for global missions and deepening my understanding of what it means to live out the Great Commission as a follower of Christ. I felt called not only to serve overseas but also to take what I learned on this trip and apply it daily in the local mission field where God has already placed me. Before making this decision, I wrestled with doubts about my abilities and knowledge. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be useful on the mission field, that I might struggle with the living conditions, and I even had concerns about my health. But in the midst of these fears, I chose to trust that God equips the unqualified and can work through me in ways I may never fully understand. To be completely honest, India was the last place I imagined myself going for my first mission trip. I had heard from others that it was one of the more difficult countries to serve in, and that only heightened my fear and uncertainty. When I found out I had been assigned to South India this summer, I realized right away that I could not rely on my own strength. I would have to lean fully on God, who gives me strength, and trust Him to sustain me and lead me every step of the way.

In South India, our team served in many different ministries, including VBS with elementary and high school students, discipleship training, English teaching, blind friends ministry, and leprosy ministry. Throughout these ministries, I often struggled with feelings of inadequacy. I felt like I didn’t have much to offer to my discipleship group, and one of the most difficult parts for me was public speaking, especially when it came to sharing my testimony. I had the opportunity to share with 3rd, 7th, and 9th grade students, as well as at a village church where the congregation couldn’t understand English and I had to rely on a translator. Each time, I was filled with fear about whether I would say the right things and whether my story would truly touch anyone’s heart. But as I brought these anxieties to God in prayer, He reminded me that it was never about what I could do to advance His kingdom. He was simply calling me to surrender to Him and trust that He alone is the one who works in people’s hearts. After God revealed this to me, I was no longer overcome with nerves when speaking publicly or sharing my testimony. Instead, I began to experience joy as I placed my trust in Him, believing that He would use me, no matter how small or unqualified I felt, to reveal Himself to the people of India.

It was such a blessing to witness how God is working in India and how deeply He loves the people there. As we served individuals from many different backgrounds and lifestyles, it was beautiful to see how God was moving in their hearts, even among those whose lives looked so different from our own. One of the most memorable moments for me was during the leprosy ministry, where we performed skits, danced, and served food to those affected by leprosy. Many of them could not stand on their own, and some were missing fingers, hands, or limbs, yet their faces radiated joy as they clapped and sang praises to God. In that moment, as we all worshiped together, I couldn’t help but feel the joy of the Lord when Missionary Chung shared something that really stayed with me. He said that all of us, coming from such different places and backgrounds, lifting our voices to praise the one true God, is a small glimpse of what everyday in heaven will be like. I thought that was so beautifully said, and it reminded me of just how much God loves all of His people and how we are each fearfully and wonderfully made as His children.

One of the most impactful lessons I learned came during our 10-day travel period when we visited the city of Varanasi. For those who may not know, Varanasi is considered one of the most religious and spiritually significant cities in India. It is a place where millions of Hindus travel every year to worship, to bathe in the Ganges River, and to perform rituals they believe will bring them closer to salvation. Walking through the city, you could see temples on every corner, hear constant chanting and prayers, and watch crowds of people gathered along the riverbanks. It was overwhelming at times to see such deep devotion, but it also broke my heart to realize how many of these people are searching for hope in something that will never truly satisfy. At one point of the 5-hour walking tour that we were on, I began to wonder, how is God working in such a God-less place like this city? As the tour continued this thought lingered in my head and I kept praying to God, hoping for an answer.

Although my prayer wasn’t answered during this tour, after conversations with my teammates and more time of prayer afterwards, God revealed to me that His presence is not limited by how dark or spiritually lost a place may seem. Just because I couldn’t see it in that moment didn’t mean He wasn't already at work. God reminded me that He loves the people of Varanasi just as much as He loves me, and that He is constantly moving in ways that are often invisible to the human eye. My role was not to question whether He was working, but to trust that He is sovereign and that His heart longs for every person, even in a city like Varanasi, to come to know Him. That truth gave me peace, because it shifted my perspective from discouragement to hope. Instead of seeing Varanasi as a God-less place, I began to see it as a city where God’s light is still breaking through, even if it’s just one person at a time.

By the end of the trip, I began to reflect on how I would live once I returned home. I knew I couldn’t go back to living the same way I did before, because through this trip I had learned so much about God and about myself. I felt convicted to live a truly missional life, not one limited to global missions, but one that also extends locally by showing God’s love and goodness in my everyday interactions. I also came back with a deeper hunger to grow in my knowledge of God’s Word, not only so I can live it out more faithfully in my own life, but also so I can share it with those around me who do not yet know Him.