SUMMER HAHN

I have had opportunities to go on missions in various capacities since junior high, but I never felt compelled to go. Even when I joined KCM upon entering college and heard upperclassmen urging the freshmen to go, I had no interest. I knew in my head the importance of missions, but I was too scared and negligent to go myself. I would make excuses for why I was meant to send rather than go.

Gradually, during my time in college, God opened up my heart. While listening to the testimonies of my friends who went on STSM in summer ‘24, I felt a nudge in my heart to go. Although I wanted to, my fears and personal plans made me hesitant. As I wrestled with saying yes to God, the importance of obedience—and my lack of it—weighed on me. In His mercy, God continually gave me encouragement through messages and my community right when I needed it. Trusting that God would honor my obedience, I committed to go.

In all honesty, when I first committed, my desire to be obedient (in missions and all things) was driven more by my desire to receive blessings from God than by love for Him. Unconsciously, I wanted to be obedient for my sake, not for His. Despite this, God still showed me the sweetness of obedience and nearness to Him. Recorded from our second week on missions my journal reads, “I just read back at my old entries [from this year] and a lot of them were how I could feel my soul craving the Lord but me not going to Him. I can confirm, it is quite amazing, wonderful to be with God, to go to Him daily in prayer and scripture.” I was able to experience peace and joy that comes only from God. Reciting the gospel to the students every day of ministry, also served a reminder of God’s great love. Jesus’ sacrifice is the greatest proof of God’s love for us, and is reason enough for obedience. I pray that I will desire to be obedient to God purely because it pleases Him and that I will delight because He delights. 

I also learned how fun it is to trust in God. Until now, fun was never really a word that came to mind when thinking of Christianity or my faith. One day, Dr. Abraham asked us what we thought of missionary life. My first thought was that it’s difficult, but he responded that it’s fun. I was mildly shocked. He explained that it’s fun to trust in God, and during my time there I was able to experience that. Having to trust in God for everything, even the little things, and seeing how he provides is indeed fun. Additionally, the Bible became fun for the first time in a long time. While I have received rest, encouragement, and counsel from the Bible before, I never would have thought to describe it as fun. It was more of a discipline that I knew I had to do, but seeing Jesus through the Bible was fun. Learning more about God and His will was exciting.

Throughout the entirety of this trip God showed me what a good and loving God He is. I can be obedient to Him because He loved me. I can be excited about knowing Him and His will because He is good. He reminded me of how He calls out to us, listens to us, and is faithful to us. God desires a relationship with the people of India and here at home. As I saw the desperate need for God in India, I realized how blind I have been for my community at home. Urgency in my heart has grown for my friends and neighbors. God wants them, and I want them to experience the amazing and sustaining joy of the Lord.