I decided to go on missions this past summer as a way to serve God and follow the Great Commission, something God had consistently placed in my heart the previous summers before. I had always expected college to be a transformative new chapter, and I was especially eager to see how God would work on the missional field within my STSM experience. My ultimate prayer request was to center this trip solely on my personal relationship with God and not myself, and to open my heart to what God had to reveal. I truly believe He answered them, and I learned more of who God was and the ways I could seek after Him.

One of the things that I learned about my faith was how much I lacked true dependence on God. In reality, there were aspects of my life that I kept separate from God, relying on the comforts that were so accessible back home. Although I knew this deep inside, it took the mental hardships and conditions of missions to recognize the ways I was not in control. God revealed to me through our daily early morning prayer meetings at St. Paul School that I could depend on Him in all things. I was so blessed to join the staff in their routine to cover their daily activities, their current circumstance, and the entire country in prayer, trusting that God would bring everything to fruition if they brought it before Him. I realized the power of lifting everything up to God, having true faith that He will answer because He is the only one in control. In my own personal prayer time, I saw the many things that I previously did not lay down before God, which changed my posture to cover all things in prayer and to look to God as the sole solution as my first response to anything I would encounter.

I was very moved by the many faithful believers that we met within every pocket of Christianity, from the staff in St. Paul School, the pastors from different IEC church branches, to the missionaries and youth leaders in Jaigon. In our times of fellowship and sharing personal testimonies, we were able to see the ways our same God was powerfully working within our individual experiences. I was able to easily connect and build close friendships within these Christ-centered conversations. 

I had set personal expectations to fully give my whole heart for the entirety of the trip, and a part of me acknowledges that I gave the best I could. But with every positive and purposeful experience came the thought that I could be witnessing the same things back in America by being more present in the ministries at home. In the end, I wasn’t left satisfied with the way I was able to serve and share the gospel to others, but humbled to realize that my missional life was not just about how I poured into ministry in India, but also having that same missional heart regardless of my environment. The urgency to spread the gospel back home was just as great as India.

God’s plan and timing is sovereign, and I trust that God will continue to move powerfully in the country of India as I was able to gratefully experience. I hope and pray that I continue carrying a heart posture that is so desperate for God, and that I would not easily return to the habits I’ve carried at home. I want to know and love God more, and I pray to live a life of obedience when called by Him.